Judgmentalism

I'm finishing up a book titled, "UnChristian," by David Kinnaman and Gabe Lyons. It researches the perceptions of sixteen to twenty-nine year olds towards Christianity. The chapter I just finished is titled Judgmentalism. The conception is that Christians are prideful and quick to find fault in others.
Unfortunately I'm afraid that is way too true. As a member of the Christian community for thirty years, I have found many "believers" intolerant, judgmental, bigoted, and closed-minded. I know that they struggle with the same things that all people do, it's just that somehow when they get victory over something it seems they become intolerant of others who struggle in the thing they now no longer do. Sometimes they just don't understand the struggles of others, having never been there themselves.
My fear is that is true of me, too. I'd like to think that I'm patient, kind, tolerant, and all the other things that the Bible says love is, but I'm afraid that I've quickly put some behaviors, or people, in the "that's going too far" box. Am I patient with the adulterer and judgmental of the gay? Do I show leniency to the thief and then condemn (internally, of course, I'm way too spiritual to do these things openly) the liar?
The authors suggest that people are asking for respect even if we disagree with their behavior. That doesn't seem unreasonable. These are the things that make for respect:
1. Listen to me.
2. Don't label me.
3. Don't be so smart. (An easy one for me!)
4. Put yourself in my place.
5. Be genuine.
6. Be my friend with no other motives.
I trust that I will be sensitive when judgmentalism rears its ugly head inside of me. If it does, will you judge me for it?